MAGNETO

Modern Inventions No.61: The Singing Suppository From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (135 days old)

A spoonful of sugar, as the old song line tells us, helps the medicine go down. And a jolly lyric it is too, though a little bird tells us that somehow, it isn't describing suppositories. After all, i… more

Did You Know? From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (135 days old)

Did you know that citrus fruits - the tangerine and the lime in particular - grow faster and provide bigger yields when cultivated in the presence of an electro-magnetic field? This does not hold… more

Wonders of Nature No. 7: The Chiming Frog of Surinam From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (166 days old)

Imagine yourself in the steaming jungles of South America. It’s hot, humid, dangerous: alive with savage natives, man-eating beasts and blood-sucking insects. And then there’s the noise. A maddening, … more

Debilitating Maladies No.72: Hamilton’s Peristalsis From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (173 days old)

Once thought to be related to epilepsy, this embarrassing ailment was first identified by Scottish proctologist Dr. Colin Hamilton, in 1907. There is much conjecture about the etiology of this conditi… more

Modern Inventions No.17: The Racing Hedgehog From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (180 days old)

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his ‘flat’ mate. Ha ha! A jolly quip, to be sure, and one that’s had all of us here at The Luminograph in stitches all morning! Seriously, though, i… more

Did You Know? From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (184 days old)

Did you know that if all the strands of spaghetti consumed in Italy in just one day were placed end to end, (assuming an average strand length of 12.204 inches), they’d stretch two and a third times a… more

Amazing Discoveries No. 59: The True Identity Of Marsupial Jack From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (188 days old)

If you’ve got a book of adventure stories on your shelf, then odds on it’ll have a chapter on Marsupial Jack! For the astonishing life of ‘The Bounding Bushranger Of New South Wales’ is a cracking goo… more

Did You Know? From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (191 days old)

Did you know that the wheeled bathing machine, like this one, pictured on Drowningsea beach in 1905, was originally constructed for a purpose far different from that of sparing the blushes of bash… more

Modern Inventions No.136: The Steam-Driven Cake Icer From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (191 days old)

Now I bet you’ve never heard of this one! And what a remarkable, if tragic, tribute to British ingenuity it was too! The Steam-Driven Cake Icer, the first kitchen utensil to be powered by anything oth… more

Wonders of Nature No. 25: The May Bloom Caterpillar From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (193 days old)

The May Bloom Caterpillar truly is a wonder of nature, having developed a highly original method of evading predators. Should a hungry bird start showing a trifle too much interest, this ingenious… more

Amazing Discoveries No. 73: The Conductive Properties Of Water From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (199 days old)

Cracking stuff, electricity. It lights up our homes, powers our industry, brings us wireless programmes from the BBC and does away with criminals in the United States. Now electricity, as I’m sur… more

Did You Know? From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (199 days old)

Did you know that Walk This Way, 1986’s immensely catchy collaboration between Aerosmith and Run DMC, was not actually the work of either group? In fact, the world’s first ever rock/rap crossover … more

Modern Inventions No.49: The Self-Igniting Doorway From tadpoles in THE LUMINOGRAPH (199 days old)

Looked around you at the streets of our towns and cities recently? Distressing spectacle, isn't it? Heaven knows the litter and graffiti are bad enough. But these days, it seems that everywhere you lo… more

Dear Reader(s) - Slight Return From tadpoles in Home is where The Horse is (514 days old)

Home Is Where The Horse Is has ceased publication, due to its author having found more a more rewarding occupation. His present work can be found at: luminograph.blog.co.uk. … more

THE OBSERVER CLOSES DOWN From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (514 days old)

The Flimwell Observer has ceased publication, due to its editor having found more a more rewarding occupation. His present work can be found at: tadpoles.blog.co.uk … more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (891 days old)

LOCAL GIRL WINS POETRY PRIZE Sophie Manning (pictured above), of Appleton Close, Froghill, could hardly believe her luck last Monday when she took first prize in the ‘Little Laureate’ poetry co… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (892 days old)

GLAMOROUS GRAN GETS HER KIT OFF A local woman who is set to appear in a glamour magazine says she is “thrilled to bits at the prospect”. Emily Fanshawe, widow of industrialist Simon Fanshawe, i… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (894 days old)

SHROUD OF TURIN ‘OBVIOUSLY A TEA TOWEL’ The ‘poster’ purchased at a Froghill charity shop three weeks ago is “categorically not the Shroud of Turin”, the Observer can reveal. The item was spott… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (895 days old)

SQUID GUTTED BY CHEF'S SCHOOL VISIT A local school continued its drive to get its children eating more healthily by inviting a professional chef in to do a cookery class last Friday. Cheetingham… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (895 days old)

LOCAL ROBOT GETS NOSEY A remote-controlled automaton, built by a Froghill man in his spare time, looks set to revolutionise the practice of nasal barbering. Resembling something from TV’s Robot … more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (899 days old)

CLUBBERS AND PUBBERS TO BE TESTED FOR DRUG USE People out and about in the Froghill area are to be subjected to controversial new on-the-spot drugs testing, the Observer can reveal. Starting nex… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (900 days old)

HOME RIPPED APART BY HOSIERY EXPLOSION An elderly woman is today recovering in Froghill General after an explosion flattened her home and blew her legs apart yesterday afternoon. Grandmother Ell… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (902 days old)

WE’RE JUST WILD ABOUT HAIRY It may be months before the next one hits the shops, but no matter, because here in Froghill, we’re just wild about Hairy! People have already started queuing outside… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (905 days old)

LOCAL LADS TO KICK OFF MUSIC FESTIVAL Local band The Jimi Saville Experience have been chosen to open the annual Mudbath music festival in August after recording a session for the Steve Macaque… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (905 days old)

COUNCIL EXONERATED OVER 'CONFUSING' SIGNS A bizarre traffic accident has justified Froghill Council’s decision to position two entirely different warning signs on the same stretch of road. The … more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (907 days old)

SKELETON FOUND IN CRISP PACKET Builder Brian Whitstable got a bigger crunch than he bargained for when he popped a handful of crisps into his mouth last Friday morning. For Mr Whitstable, 27, o… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (908 days old)

TIGER TO REPLACE PENIS IN FRONT GARDEN Withering resident Arthur Snoad has built a 17-foot high statue of a tiger sitting inside a petrol tank to mark the 50th anniversary of the end of rationing. … more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (909 days old)

CLASSIFIEDS FOR SALE Acne Cream. Dab a little onto your cheeks. Rub it in. Hey presto! You’ve got acne! £15. Call S. Muldoon on 446 2694. No time wasters, please. Armpit Mirror, 2006 mod… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (912 days old)

MISSING MAN FOUND A man who had been missing for three weeks has turned up safe and well. Willy Standing, 35, of Bracewell Road, Cheetingham, was reported missing by his wife after he went to bu… more

From the pages of the Froghill Observer From tadpoles in WELCOME TO FROGHILL (913 days old)

CIRCUS COMES TO TOWN Zeferelli’s Circus is back for a two week visit which starts this Saturday on Froghill Common. Celebrated Rumanian clowns Bobo and Gregor will be this year’s star attractio… more